Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words... words can crush my soul.

Dear God,

Hey there. It's been a little while, sorry about that. But you know how I am. Always try to figure things out by myself first. But I have a prayer. I need your strength. I'm strong, but I know I'll never be strong enough. I pray that you would give me the strength, endurance, and courage to face the challenges that I'll be facing soon. I pray that you remind me that I am living for you now. I know that I'll hate it sometimes. I'm so stubborn, but it's all your own fault! God, grant me the grace to forgive anything, and the humbleness to realize that it's not just me. I pray that you would point out to me my own faults because I'm often so blind of myself that I miss what is so obvious. But mostly I pray for courage. For the courage to face any and all of the people that will shout at me that I'm wrong, that I'm a freak. I know that I'm often full of myself and won't even consider that I might be wrong. I pray that you will be the one who shows me what is right. God, I am so so scared of what you're going to do and what you are doing to me. I'm terrified that I'll lose my control over myself and my life. I'm scared of the overflowing passion. I like my safe, sturdy passion. I like my safe, sturdy self. But you have such great plans for me. Plans to give me a hope and a future. I pray that I can share those plans with the people around me. I do love a good plan! Thank you so much for the people you've put into my life. I sometimes forget about them, but they really are a blessing. I've seen so much lately how you've blessed me. You've blessed me with money in the nick of time, with a wonderful house (though a bit crowded with all the animals...), with people that I know will support me no matter what. With a family that loves me and would step out of their comfort zones to try to understand this crazy me. But most of all I thank you for the wonderful combination you've put in me of resilience and forgiveness. Much as I've tried, I can't hold a grudge. And I know that people will take advantage of that, but that's what the resilience and people and family is for right? And finally, thank you for Batman. He's awesome.

Dream sequence

Last night I had a pretty awesome dream. It started with me having an acting class at the UofL. The teacher and a student were doing the first scene and it was really awful, so I headed outside to the lobby. Rayne was there looking at some art hanging on the wall and there were two really pretty girls sitting on a bench in the middle of the room. I started chatting with them and eventually they asked me to grab something for them. I headed outside to get it but it was a complete downpour outside so I headed back in and everyone was now wearing a rain coat and was sopping wet. I talked to the two girls for a little longer and then the dream skipped ahead. I was outside in a city talking with a guy on the street and he either gave me something really important or told me where it was, I can't remember. Anyways, as soon as he left a giant truck with about a dozen guys in black suits in the back drives up and all the guys start shooting at me. Luckily at this point I remember that I can fly but unfortunately it isn't working so well, so it's more of a big jump with a bit of hanging in the air in the middle. So I take off jumping over fences and onto buildings and into trees trying to lose them, but nothing seems to be working. So I decide to head out into the fields to lose them. Turns out that it's the middle of winter outside of town so instead of fields of wheat, there's only a few feet of snow. First time I've ever disliked winter... Anyways, I made off to a stand of trees and after jumping around and keeping out of sight I eventually lose the truck. But then I realize that it is freezing cold outside and I'm only wearing a t-shirt and pants, so I slowly start making my way back to town since I can't find anything else to keep myself warm. (my flying ability to fly has become almost completely useless at this point) I can't make my way through the snow very easily, but then I realize that everything looks a lot like a video game that I was looking at in real life the other day, and the reality is too much and I wake up. All in all a very entertaining dream! Still wonder what that important thing was...