Who am I?

I'm 90% sure I did something like this a while ago, but I've been learning a lot about myself recently, so I'm doing it again! Oh! I remember! I was putting down all sorts of things that I like about myself! Okay, well I'm going to be doing that, but more just looking objectively rather than just what I like. I've been sort of rediscovering myself and it's pretty darn exciting, and also incredibly frustrating and scary. Not scary as in fear, but scary in that I've discovered things that I don't like. But this will hopefully help me to better see and understand those things, which will help me out in the long run! Here we go.

First I am a thinker. I absolutely love thinking, wondering, contemplating, and mulling things over. However this has recently been brought so far to the forefront of myself that I've lost a part of me that I used to really treasure. Well, not lost, but I haven't used it in a very long time. Namely, that thing is my excellent observation. I've always loved observing people and how they react to situations, and I've used that to decide how I'd react to things and to better understand why people do the things they do. But increasingly lately I've been far more interested in abstract things. And the more time I've devoted to thinking about ideas and concepts, the less I've been able to observe people. I still can do it, I know because I was still able to recognize signs in Grace and my relationship, but I didn't devote as much energy into understanding it as I did with other things. So I guess what I need to work on is learning to balance the two. Realizing when it's time to watch and listen, and then when it's time to think and contemplate. Check.

I am incredibly passionate. In fact, I see more passion in me than I do in a lot of people. What I am most passionate for is the truth. I strive in all that I do to reveal some truth to every person I meet. This is why I'm so excited to become a teacher. Sharing with others the amazing discoveries that I've made is probably my very greatest joy. And something new that I've become passionate for is freedom. I've always seen this lack in myself and people around me, but it wasn't until just recently that I've realized what it was that I was looking at. It wasn't until recently that I've had a taste of freedom and I want to share it with absolutely everyone. My current quest to learn about forgiveness has been fueled by my passion for freedom. So yeah. I like that about me, and I hope that my strong passion continues to fuel my actions.

I am loyal to a fault. Once I've decided to connect to someone, I will stand by them come hell or high water. Unfortunately this has recently become a point of incredible pain for me. The loyalty of my heart has been at war with the logic and practicality of my mind. But even despite that I love this part of me. I feel like it is rare to find in the world someone who will remain faithful in all situations. I know full well that it isn't incredibly rare, as I do know a few people with this quality, but I am very glad to be able to count myself among them. If you are my friend, you are my friend forever. No getting out of it! Well, at least not if I can help it.

I am curious. This may seem a little boring and unremarkable, but it's a part of me that I treasure. My constant thirst for knowledge and understanding is a big part of why I relate with people so well. I genuinely want to know and understand people, so I always ask questions, which is a very attractive quality. My questions show my care I like to say. In fact, the best way to tell if I care about something is to see if I ask any questions about it. Apparently though, this can be overwhelming. But I've only had one person ever tell me that, so I'm not sure if that's necessarily true... Whatever. My curiosity fuels my knowledge, which fuels my passion for teaching, so it works out very well!

The last thing for today is something that I didn't actually realize until I was told by a whole bunch of people at once. It is that I am great at sharing joy. I think the reason I didn't really realize this is because when I'm not actively interacting with people I usually am thinking about more serious things. Again, I don't spend as much time analyzing interactions now as I used to, so when I'm investing in my thoughts it's usually about more somber matters, so I don't think much about the silliness that is so inherent in me. I remember that a while ago I said that my very favorite thing to do is to make people laugh. It's still true, and I still act in the same way, but I just haven't put my mind into it as much lately. So I guess I don't really need to work on this, cuz I'm so good at it without even realizing it, so I'm glad for that!

I have a few other things to add to the list, but I haven't had time to think on them yet, so I'll save them for another time. But I like what I have so far! So far they're all positive things, but I do have at least one specific thing that I need to work on. But that's for another time! Good night!