Introspection

Greetings dear internet friends. It's yet another night on yet another day. Again. So... Fuck me.

Let's expand on that shall we?

What the hell am I doing here? What am I good for? Why do I feel so incredibly lonely? Why can I not seem to do anything good? Am I worth it? Cuz I sure don't see it. Rayne told me that I've asked her several times why she's my friend, and that I shouldn't have to ask. But I don't see it! Sure I'm funny sometimes, but so is literally every other person on the planet!
God? Where are you? I need you. I feel so worthless. Like I am a complete waste of space. I'm so lonely. I feel like I can't breathe.I'm empty. I'm so done with this. I always say that though. And I'm still here. God, I hate myself. I find nothing lovable about me, and I'm so afraid that no one else does either. I feel like I let everyone down. Like I'm supposed to be better, but I just can't. I'm broken God. I'm so broken. I miss feeling important. I miss feeling valued. I miss feeling like I'm really worth someone's time. That life would be better for someone if I'm around. I miss Grace. I feel like a failure because I still miss her sometimes. I just read a status she wrote about how it was just a year ago that she hurt so much she couldn't breathe. I was a part of that. It was my failing that lead to that. How can I love a man who destroys the person he cares most about? She was everything to me. I know that's not good, but it's true. Why would you make someone like me? I don't want me, and I don't see how anyone else would. Why do you? Do you? God?