JSYK

Heyo! This is pretty much just to clear up last post. Last post, at least the part about God, was just me being frustrated and venting, not really my thoughts, but more my feelings at that moment. I know God does care, it's just frustrating when I have no idea what He's doing and I can't see it. And trying to get close to God has been precisely what I've been doing for the past few weeks, not to mention the last twenty years of my life, and again, it was more my frustration talking. I've really been trying, but it just doesn't seem to be working. And I have been trying to fix things on my own, and the reason is that I've been asking and asking for help since the fist time I couldn't make rent, and I have consistently had to ask dad for rent since then, and I'm probably going to have to again this month. So it's kind of the case that if I don't do something, dad will have to pay, and I really really don't want to be in that position or to put him in that position. Besides, I don't think that we're just supposed to lie back and wait for God to shower us with gifts. So, yeah, I have asked and been asking, but nothing has happened, and again I'm just left with the frustration. So I really do appreciate that you may be worried and frustrated with me, but I have already done and have been doing what you suggested, with no avail. So, (that's the third so in a row!) I guess I'll just see what happens from here. I did get that job at Save On Foods, and I am really grateful for it! It just doesn't start until the 24th, so the first paycheck will be way too late to make any difference for this month and rent and such. Sigh...