The art of being happy

There really is an art to it isn't there. It just naturally flows with some people, and for some people it seems like it takes an arm and a leg for just a smile. I think I'm almost starting to move towards that second one. Not completely by any stretch of the imagination but I find more and more that I struggle to remain positive, much less happy. It sort of struck me as I was walking home from a games night thing. It was kinda fun and I had enjoyed it and it was great to actually be around people, but I still felt lonely. I have such a hard time finding that connection, that real, firm connection that is the bond for a really good friendship. So as I was walking I was thinking about how I couldn't shake this loneliness even when I was around people so I couldn't really be all that happy, and then I started thinking about what really makes me happy. It only took a second for me to figure out that I am the most happy when I can make someone I am really close to laugh. I think that's one of the reasons I love Carsyn and Lizzy so much, just because even though we're close I still have a really easy time making them laugh. I don't know why, but a lot of the people that I get closer to I also find it harder and harder to make them laugh. Hmm... I think that's something that I'm going to have to mull over a bit more before I make anything from it. Anyways, those are just some cursory thoughts that I had. Possibly more later and, knowing me, possibly not. Good night!