Well, just so I actually write something for Jan here's a thought flow

All righty, this is going to be interesting. Typing is so much faster, I'm thinking and I can erase sweet! da da da da not dad it's da. I can't remember what this song is something about memories that's it, I guess this is harder, if just because I don't know. Can't think... Just that... hard to not read it because of spelling and erasing and junk. I guess that's another reason for writing instead of typing I really hated doing that, oh aaron, I don't know. That really sucks, and I don't really know how much is true. But I'm a bad judge. I suck at this. I keep not saying what I'm thinking. But it's faster!!! JOYYY!!! Peace patience and so on. I don't really care right now. so annoying. but acting is next and i can't do it and arrrrgggghh! lame. I just wish I would just care about something so I could do it and it'd be good and Id care and crap.. CRAP! Frig, I don't want to do this anymeor. I goe milk, so that's good. tasty. cereal. wooooooooooo annoying song. I'm trying to be nice. Oh Juli, you're not nice. I like it but I don't know, you scare me and make me mad and it's just annoying sometimes. I'm scared in acting rehersal and all that. This is still too slow. I need ablagjs. Yup/ shaker. this is the relax music I miss it. David. I stil don't know. I
'm just jealous. and he's gay. That's hard. I don't know what to do. It's just i can't do it. it's tooo hard to figure it out and I don't want to i don't know go there. or something. I just want to hit something. I never let out my anger. I don't know if I got better, Juli and aaron said I never do but I dtill don't know if I do. It's past midnight. crap! so unmotivated. God. It's just so frustrating that I can't do it. I can't get it right. and it doesn't even matter. For me. I want it 's so hard t oo care I just don't someone needs to smack me. I don't want to do this life. It's not worth it. not suicide. that's a coward.howard. Like in acting improv. it's good. I kinda like it but I don't know. It's just annoying and Peter. I don't think this is getting anywhere. I guess I do need a guiding hand. At least I haven't looked much but I didn't figure anything out. but I never do it's all just lame and I don't get it and I always ssay that because that's what I always feel and i hate spelling and I think too fast for this. I think I thought slower when I was writing because I wasn't moving as fast. that's it done. crap