Paint Brush

I keep my paint brush with me,
wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
so the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - That
you might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
but I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
to let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare, and cold,
and if you still love me with all that you see,
you are my friend pure as gold.

I need to save my paint brush, though,
and hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
in case somebody doesn't understand,
so please protect me, my dear friend,
and thanks for loving me true,
but please let me keep my paint brush with me
until I love me too.

Frick!!!!

I am so mad right now but at the sme time I am not because I am so sad! I just found out that Karli isn't going to be coming back next year. There. There it is. I am down another person that I'm semi close to. Now all I need is for Aaron to not have enough money and Lizzy to not come back and Adam to not get accepted back. Then I'll be done. I guess I am kind of like an only child... Everything really is about me... I miss you Karli. I hope you'll come back and give me your hugs and silly grin! I'll miss the confidence you placed in me, and how much you allowed me to stay with you when you needed it. I'll miss all the frustration and determination you have. I'll always remember learining how to juggle, and standing backstage so you could glace back at me. You've helped me a lot too you know. Don't ever stop believing in yourself. Don't ever think you are worth less than you are just because someone says so. I'll always love you Karli!

The son of the Drunken Prophet

People of the world. Of all the free lands and the far lands and all those other silly lands, I have a message. Not a simple message of tiredness and elasticity, but a message of incredible sovreinty and love. For you see, it was as my father had said of and about the peaches. The peaches shall reign over the earth in a very reignlike manner. They shall squish amongst the plants and the beetles. They shall sing among the harps and liverpools. And they shall enumerate the bamboo of the valleys! And the armadillos shall at last be at peace with the sith lords and the bottle nosed dragon. Thus shall the working man become enslaved once more, but in this very same way, shall free all of the wrongfully emprisoned monkeys. And the monkeys shall rejoice and say unto the scalloped potatoes, "I never did like those fish." And thus, the kingdoms of the earth shall be restored to their former glory as it was fortold by my father who was fortold by his father who was fortold by his father who was fortold by his father who was fortold by his father's cousin Jimmy. So rejoice all you peoples, sing forth with glorious singing and bonking on tomtoms. Let the whole of the universe revle in the splendor of your sound waves. Thus saith the son of the Drunken Prophet.

A few interesting quotes

"If Yugioh cards came to life, you could do anything with your hair!" -Brayden Bauhuis
(talking about grinding at a club) "All I could think of was STDs!" - Karli

"Just remember that Ryan is a tool." - Cindy Vanden Enden

Money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes being miserable more comfortable!"

Who you are

Ladies and gentlemen, here is a little musical number that my brother and I wrote. (he did most of it) Enjoy!

I fallen down and I'm struggling to get back up
I cry out for help, for someone to fill my cup
I'm tired and I'm thirsty, I'm hungry and alone,
I cry out God please help me find my way home
and I know that You will, You'll give me my fill
and I know that You will, You'll give me my fill
because that's who You are

You help those in need and those who struggle just like me
You answer their prayers to save and to set them free
You break our addictions, right our wrongs,
Lord stand beside us, keep us strong
and I know that You will, You give me my fill
and I know that You will, You give me my fill
because that's who You are

When my strength is not enough You insert yours and lift me up
and when I feel I've had enough You comfort me and fill me with love
when my life is headed straight down,
You say the word and turn it all around
because, because, because, because
because that's who You are

Wow, it's May

Well... It's May now... I don't really have any idea what to write, I just figured that I should probably write on this at least once a month just so I don't totally forget about it. It kinda sucks though, I always have things that I think of putting on here, but I'm always out and about when I think of them and then I'm too lazy when I come back. Well I'm pretty sure that now I've narrowed it down to an audience of one. Me. But it's kinda funny cuz I still don't want to put anything too personal in here. Heck. I've never put anything personal anywhere but in my mind. Much less to another person or where they could get it. That's one thing about me that maybe you didn't know. I don't trust anyone. I don't know why for sure. I keep saying it's cuz I've been backstabbed too many times, but I think I'm just cynical. I mean really I've never been through as much as quite a few people I know. It's not like I've ever been so scarred that I couldn't handle it. Maybe that's it. I just can't handle the thought of not being in control. I can't let myself be weak. I can't let anyone find out how they can get at me. Hmmm... Because I think they will. Heh. They'll either attack me for it, or realize that maybe they can't depend on me. I was talking with Luke yesterday after Amy's party, and we were talking a little bit about how important it is to have someone that you can tell anything to. I've never had that. I almost had that with Jon, and then with Carsyn, and then with Shannon. But then they all had to leave. Maybe I didn't trust fast enough or something. Maybe I'm just a big coward. But I've been betrayed by people that I never dreampt of betraying me before. Kayla, Natalka, David... Sigh... Maybe I'm just screwed. That's probably it. Yay.