I haven't updated in months! OH NO!
So I've been thinking a lot lately, as I am wont to do, and it's been about my view on questions and why it is that I use and sometimes abuse them. It was a conversation I had with Chelsea that brought this about and she had the mistaken idea that my questioning her was me doubting that she was correct, and demanding proof. This caught me quite off guard as this is entirely off base, at least for me. That wasn't what I meant to communicate at all with my questions! But then I started to wonder exactly what it is that I Do mean to communicate.
We'll start with a story. Back in Junior High (that's more than a decade ago... yikes!) I didn't really have any friends and was pretty downright crappy at interacting with people. So I asked my youth pastor, Evan, what I could do to have good and meaningful conversations with people. His advise, questions! He taught me that asking questions was a really good way to show your interest in someone, and to find out all the interesting things about them! In case you didn't know, I find people fascinating! A few months later Evan told me that he could tell that I really cared about people, both because I was doing what he suggested, but mostly just because I asked him what to do in the first place. He said that that showed him that I really wanted to build strong relationships and that I wasn't much for the mundane.
Cool. So point of story, questions became a way that I unconsciously show that I care about people. The more questions I ask of people the more I care. So if I try to find out every little detail about you and all the things you know, just know it's cuz I love you!
But growing up and finding my calling as a teacher has developed my view on questions even more. Firstly, I try to use Jesus' example in teaching by questions because it both forces the other person to think, and it also draws them to the conclusions themselves, resulting in a firmer understanding of the subject. So I use questions in that way, but that doesn't really explain how I think of them.
I think that questions, from me anyway, show respect. My questions show that I actually believe you know what you're talking about and that I want to know all about it! If you just mention an article or I know you don't actually know what you're talking about, I usually will say, "huh, interesting." or something of the sort, and go on not bothering to immerse myself in it any more. But a question draws me in. I express my curiosity in trying to understand what you think in all it's intricacies, and I also demonstrate my respect and trust in that you actually do know what you mention.
A question creates an intimate connection of a teacher and a learner, and I am very comfortable in both those roles. I want to invest.
So, what does a question from me mean for you? It means that I care about you and want to understand you. It means that I respect your knowledge and thoughts and that I want to explore with you. It means that I want to go deeper with you, not muddling around on the surface, but diving into the conversation.
Really, if I ask you a question, it's because I love you.
