Oh glorious night!

That was fun! I am finally happy for the very first time this semester! I've always had something or other bugging me and just keeping me from actually enjoying anything. But tonight Joel, Aaron and I had a really good talk. We talked about everything! We talked about singing, performing, penises, porn, roommates, guys, relationships, Jen, dirtiness, sibling stories, naked stories, school, quitting school, excuses, classmates, gays and lesbians, how guys and girls think, God, and we ended with a discussion on the validity of the Bible. It was amazing! And it was so great getting to know Joel a bit more. We've both been shut up in our rooms a lot, and we never really got to know each other. It really made me happy to get to have an open talk without worrying about what anyone'll think or take offence. It really made me happy and once again reminded me of why I'm here. I'm really glad that I get to have these great guys in my class. Love you guys!

Discoveries 2

So today in acting we had a mini discussion about what our creative energy is and how we use it and get it back. It started off with Cindy giving us a quote to the effect that we use our creativity to glorify God, and that by our art, not just acting, we can let a little bit of God's glory shine into the world. How encouraging is that? What we get to tap into when we get creative is a little bit of our reflection of God. We get to tap into what God gave us at our very core! Art is an expression of the heart, and God said that He would give us the desires of our heart. Hmm... I forget where I was going with that... Maybe it'll come to me later. But anyways, we actors get to have a little bit of something that no one else can really get. We get to connect with God on so many different levels. We get to understand people and how they connect with God and we get to connect as those people! We get to learn about and understand some of the most complex creatures that God created and even get paid for it! It makes me think of phsychology. I always wanted to learn some of that, but now I'm starting to realize that I can understand people better than a phsychologist because I can actually think like the person. Seems like a pretty good insider's view! So we get to connect with God with all the complexities of another person. This really isn't half as exciting as what we actually got to, but my brain is kinda slow at the moment. Oh well! I'm still excited!

Quotes

So I'm going to start to write out some quotes that I hear and think are epic.
"We are the saxophone!" - Cindy Vanden Enden
Meaning that we as actors get to, as we work on our art to become better actors, also become better people. A musician has to carry around his saxophone to get better. We are our instroment!

Karli doesn't hate me!!!

The purpose of acting

Wow. I just got out of a discussion we were having in acting class. It started with watching an Actor's Studio video about Sean Penn. We always have a bit of discussion about what we noticed or heard afterwards, and I was really struck by something he said. He said something to the effect that acting and movies that are entertaining for entertainment's sake are no better than a couple of hookers and an eight ball. I completely agree with him so I said so and thus started a big talk about just what it is that we are suposed to be and do. You see acting isn't just entertaining. It's about getting people to think. It's about sending a message and getting people to feel and see a part of reality that maybe they've never seen before. Cindy said something really cool that I've never thought about much. She said "I could be exactly like her (a character she was playing that was a drug addicted homeless prostitute). The only difference is the situations and choices that we've made." That is so true! The bible says that everyone has fallen short of the glory of God and that everyone is equal because of that. It made me wonder just how different I was from a gay man. I think that being homosexual is a choice, and I may be wrong, but could I really understand who this person is and why he does the things that he does. The church always gets all up in arms about different plays that are really raw, but we forget that these are real people! These are real people that you or I could be! I could be a drunk. I could be a homosexual. I could be a murderer. How often do we just watch the news and see the horrible things that go on, people shot, beheaded, lighting themselves on fire, and just say "oh, that's terrible!" Click. What if Joel was shot? What if your sister was raped? What if your dad killed someone? These things have to affect us! They have to but they don't! That is so scary! We have become so numb to all the crap that surrounds us that we don't even see it anymore. It's our job as actors to Make people remember. Make people care! Two thirds of the world is starving. More than a million kids are put into slavery every year. KIDS! That could be your kid! That could be the son or daughter that you love! The one that you hold close to heart and protect. We have to care. We have to do something. We have to make people care. We can't be useless entertainers. It's not about that. Laughing is good. Entertainment is good. But that's not the main point of our job. We are here to remind the world of our humanity. Remind us of why we used to care. Why people are the way they are. To understand ourselves and how we have to be there for our people. We are here to remind the protectors of our world. That is our duty.

Discoveries Part 1

So I decided that I'd put up some of the things that I found out about myself in acting, and possibly in other places but I think acting is going to be the biggest one. So I've talked lately with a few people in first year and they told me that I've never actually let anything out on stage. I thought that was silly at first, but Aaron and Juliann told me specifically that I've never actually been angry. Even though I've wanted to be. So today in acting I decided that I would do my very best to just let anything out, not nesesarily anger. Lizzy and I had a really great warm up, so I was feeling pretty good (doesn't happen all that often). But when we got up to do our scene with Tanya, it just sarted falling to pieces for me. I couldn't connect and I kept on getting distracted by Ashley's blue shirt. I was getting so fed up and just frusterated that I couldn't do it right (I know you're not suposed to worry about that, but that's all I have for now) and right near the very end I finally felt something pop. It was really weird cuz I was actually aware of something breaking and I almost thought I heard it. Luckily it didn't distract me so we finished of reasonably well. But then after that I actually visually saw what happened. I actually saw in my head a heart completely covered in chains (there was a yellow background too, that was weird) and the chain that was closest to me was broken. There was one link that had been cracked in half. First off it's pretty creepy that I actually even had that happen, but I think that I now realize why I'm here. I want to teach and that's all good, but I think that I am here so that I can actually get free. I always look at anything that I've dealt with and thought "oh, everyone else has gone through way worse stuff so don't worry about it" but I think that I really am chained. I don't really know how it happened, but I, for once, have something to do for myself. I'm excited!